A bad night at the inn on the road to Brundisium

Egressum magna me accepit Aricia Roma hospitio modico; rhetor comes Heliodorus, Graecorum longe doctissimus; inde forum Appi, differtum nautis, cauponibus atque malignis. hoc iter ignavi divisimus, altius ac nos praecinctis unum; minus est gravis Appia tardis.

Having gone out from great Rome, Aricia received me with a modest hospitality; [my] companion [was] the rhetor Heliodorus, by far the most learned of the Greeks; then Forum Appi, stuffed with boatmen and spiteful innkeepers. This stretch we lazy ones divided [in two], [though it is] one [day] for people girded higher than us; the Appian [Way] is less hard on the slow.

When I left great Rome, Aricia1 gave me modest lodging. My companion was Heliodorus, a rhetor,2 by far the most learned of the Greeks. From there we went on to Forum Appi,3 which was crammed with boatmen and crooked innkeepers. Being lazy, we took two days over this stretch, which faster travelers do in one.4 The Appian Way5 is easier if you take it slowly.

1. Aricia (modern Ariccia), a town on the Appian Way about 16 miles southeast of Rome.
2. A teacher of public speaking. Little is known of this Heliodorus.
3. A market town on the Appian Way, at the north end of a canal through the Pomptine Marshes. Travelers could go on by barge.
4. Literally “those girded higher,” travelers who belt their tunics up short to walk fast.
5. The Via Appia, the main Roman road south from Rome.

hic ego propter aquam, quod erat deterrima, ventri indico bellum, cenantis haud animo aequo exspectans comites. jam nox inducere terris umbras et caelo diffundere signa parabat. tum pueri nautis, pueris convicia nautae ingerere. ‘huc appelle! trecentos inseris: ohe jam satis est!’

Here I, because of the water, because it was very bad, declare war on [my] belly, waiting with a not at all calm mind for [my] companions dining. Now night was preparing to draw shadows over the lands and to scatter the stars in the sky. Then the slaves [began] to heap insults on the boatmen, the boatmen on the slaves. ‘Bring [her] in here!’ ‘You are cramming in three hundred!’ ‘Whoa, that is enough now!’

Here the water was so bad that I declared war on my stomach and went without dinner. I waited, not very patiently, while my companions ate. Now night was getting ready to draw its shadows over the earth and scatter the stars across the sky. Then the slaves began to hurl insults at the boatmen, and the boatmen at the slaves.6 “Pull in here!” “You’re packing in three hundred!” “Whoa, that’s enough!”

6. The canal barge was towed by a mule walking on the towpath. It traveled overnight, and the passengers slept on board.

dum aes exigitur, dum mula ligatur tota abit hora. mali culices ranaeque palustres avertunt somnos, absentem ut cantat amicam multa prolutus vappa nauta atque viator certatim: tandem fessus dormire viator incipit, ac missae pastum retinacula mulae nauta piger saxo religat stertitque supinus.

While the fare is collected, while the mule is harnessed, a whole hour goes by. Wicked gnats and marsh frogs drive away sleep, while a boatman, soaked with much flat wine, and a traveler sing in rivalry of [his] absent girlfriend. At last the traveler, tired, begins to sleep, and the lazy boatman ties to a stone the reins of the mule sent out to graze, and snores lying on his back.

A whole hour went by while the fares were collected and the mule was harnessed. Nasty gnats and marsh frogs kept us from sleeping. A boatman, full of cheap wine, and one of the passengers took turns singing about the girls they had left behind. At last the passenger got tired and fell asleep. The lazy boatman turned his mule out to graze, tied its reins to a stone, and lay on his back and snored.

jamque dies aderat, nil cum procedere lintrem sentimus; donec cerebrosus prosilit unus ac mulae nautaeque caput lumbosque saligno fuste dolat: quarta vix demum exponimur hora. ora manusque tua lavimus, Feronia, lympha. milia tum pransi tria repimus atque subimus inpositum saxis late candentibus Anxur.

And now day was at hand when we notice that the boat is not moving at all; until one hot-headed [passenger] jumps out and works over the head and loins of the mule and the boatman with a willow club. At the fourth hour, barely, at last, we are put ashore. We washed our faces and hands in your water, Feronia. Then, having had lunch, we crawl three miles and climb up to Anxur, set on rocks shining white far and wide.

Day was already breaking when we noticed that the boat was not moving at all. Then one hothead jumped out and beat the mule and the boatman about the head and back with a willow club. It was the fourth hour7 before we finally got ashore. We washed our faces and hands in your spring, Feronia.8 Then we ate lunch, crawled three miles, and climbed up to Anxur,9 perched on its rocks that shine white for miles around.

7. Romans divided daylight into twelve hours counted from sunrise, so the fourth hour fell in the middle of the morning.
8. An old Italian goddess of fertility and wild places. Her sacred spring was near Anxur.
9. The old name of Terracina, a town on the coast, set on white limestone cliffs.

tendimus hinc recta Beneventum, ubi sedulus hospes paene macros arsit dum turdos versat in igni; nam vaga per veterem dilapso flamma culinam Volcano summum properabat lambere tectum. convivas avidos cenam servosque timentis tum rapere atque omnis restinguere velle videres.

From here we head straight to Beneventum, where the busy host nearly burned while he turns skinny thrushes over the fire; for, Vulcan having slipped out through the old kitchen, the wandering flame was hurrying to lick the top of the roof. Then you would have seen the hungry guests and the frightened slaves snatching up the dinner, and all wanting to put [the fire] out.

From there we10 headed straight for Beneventum.11 There our eager host nearly went up in flames while he turned some skinny thrushes over the fire. The fire12 slipped out across the old kitchen, and its wandering flames raced up to lick the top of the roof. You should have seen the hungry guests and the frightened slaves grabbing the dinner, and everyone trying to put out the fire.

10. Horace now travels with Maecenas, Octavian’s friend and Horace’s patron, who joined the party at Anxur. The poet Virgil and other friends joined them farther on.
11. Modern Benevento, a town on the Appian Way in the hills east of Capua.
12. Vulcan, the Roman god of fire. Latin poets often use his name for fire itself.

incipit ex illo montis Apulia notos ostentare mihi, quos torret Atabulus, et quos numquam erepsemus, nisi nos vicina Trivici villa recepisset, lacrimoso non sine fumo, udos cum foliis ramos urente camino.

From that [place] Apulia begins to show me [its] familiar mountains, which the Atabulus scorches, and which we would never have crept over, had not a villa near Trivicum taken us in, not without tearful smoke, the stove burning damp branches with [their] leaves.

From there Apulia began to show me its mountains, which I knew well.13 The Atabulus14 scorches them. We would never have crawled over them if a country house near Trivicum15 had not taken us in. But the smoke there made our eyes water, for the stove was burning damp branches with the leaves still on.

13. Horace was born at Venusia, on the edge of Apulia, so he knew these mountains from boyhood.
14. A hot, dry local wind of Apulia.
15. A hill town on the edge of Apulia, modern Trevico.

quattuor hinc rapimur viginti et milia redis, mansuri oppidulo, quod versu dicere non est, signis perfacile est: venit vilissima rerum hic aqua; sed panis longe pulcherrimus, ultra callidus ut soleat umeris portare viator; nam Canusi lapidosus, aquae non ditior urna qui locus a forti Diomede est conditus olim.

From here we are whirled twenty-four miles in carriages, to stay in a little town which cannot be named in verse, [but] is very easy [to tell] by signs: here water, the cheapest of things, is sold; but the bread is by far the finest, so that the clever traveler usually carries it on [his] shoulders [on] beyond; for at Canusium it is gritty, [and] the place, founded long ago by brave Diomedes, is not richer by a jug of water.

From there we were whirled twenty-four miles in carriages, to stay the night in a little town whose name won’t fit into verse.16 But it is easy to describe. Here they sell water, the cheapest thing in the world. But the bread is far the best anywhere, so a clever traveler usually carries a load of it on his shoulders for the road ahead. For at Canusium17 the bread is gritty. And that town, founded long ago by brave Diomedes, has not a jug more water.

16. Its name would not fit Horace’s meter. Ancient commentators said it was Equus Tuticus; this is not certain.
17. Modern Canosa di Puglia. Legend said the Greek hero Diomedes founded it after the Trojan War.