The Program of the Grand Pleasure Excursion

For months the great Pleasure Excursion to Europe and the Holy Land was chatted about in the newspapers every where in America, and discussed at countless firesides. It was a novelty in the way of Excursions — its like had not been thought of before, and it compelled that interest which attractive novelties always command. It was to be a picnic on a gigantic scale. The participants in it, instead of freighting an ungainly steam ferry-boat with youth and beauty and pies and doughnuts, and paddling up some obscure creek to disembark upon a grassy lawn and wear themselves out with a long summer day's laborious frolicking under the impression that it was fun, were to sail away in a great steamship with flags flying and cannon pealing, and take a royal holiday beyond the broad ocean, in many a strange clime and in many a land renowned in history! They were to sail for months over the breezy Atlantic and the sunny Mediterranean; they were to scamper about the decks by day, filling the ship with shouts and laughter — or read novels and poetry in the shade of the smoke-stacks, or watch for the jelly-fish and the nautilus, over the side, and the shark, the whale, and other strange monsters of the deep; and at night they were to dance in the open air, on the upper deck, in the midst of a ball-room that stretched from horizon to horizon, and was domed by the bending heavens and lighted by no meaner lamps than the stars and the magnificent moon — dance, and promenade, and smoke, and sing, and make love, and search the skies for constellations that never associate with the “Big Dipper” they were so tired of; and they were to see the ships of twenty navies — the customs and costumes of twenty curious peoples — the great cities of half a world — they were to hob-nob with nobility and hold friendly converse with kings and princes, Grand Moguls, and the anointed lords of mighty empires!

For months the great Pleasure Excursion to Europe and the Holy Land1 was chatted about in the newspapers everywhere in America, and discussed at countless firesides. It was a novelty in the way of excursions. Its like had not been thought of before, and it compelled that interest which attractive novelties always command. It was to be a picnic on a gigantic scale. The people in it were not to load an ungainly steam ferryboat with youth and beauty and pies and doughnuts, and paddle up some obscure creek to land on a grassy lawn. They were not to wear themselves out with a long summer day's laborious frolicking, under the impression that it was fun. Instead, they were to sail away in a great steamship with flags flying and cannon pealing, and take a royal holiday beyond the broad ocean, in many a strange climate and in many a land renowned in history! They were to sail for months over the breezy Atlantic and the sunny Mediterranean. They were to scamper about the decks by day, filling the ship with shouts and laughter. Or they would read novels and poetry in the shade of the smokestacks, or watch over the side for the jellyfish and the nautilus,2 and the shark, the whale, and other strange monsters of the deep. And at night they were to dance in the open air, on the upper deck, in the midst of a ballroom that stretched from horizon to horizon. It was domed by the bending heavens and lighted by no meaner lamps than the stars and the magnificent moon. There they would dance, and promenade, and smoke, and sing, and make love,3 and search the skies for constellations that never keep company with the Big Dipper they were so tired of. And they were to see the ships of twenty navies, the customs and costumes of twenty curious peoples, the great cities of half a world. They were to hobnob with nobility and hold friendly talk with kings and princes, Grand Moguls,4 and the anointed lords of mighty empires!

1. The lands of the Bible, then part of the Ottoman Empire.
2. A small sea creature seen floating at the surface; sailors gave the name to more than one kind.
3. In the 1860s, “make love” meant to court or flirt.
4. The Mughal emperors of India; here, a joking name for any grand ruler.

It was a brave conception; it was the offspring of a most ingenious brain. It was well advertised, but it hardly needed it: the bold originality, the extraordinary character, the seductive nature, and the vastness of the enterprise provoked comment every where and advertised it in every household in the land. Who could read the programme of the excursion without longing to make one of the party? I will insert it here. It is almost as good as a map. As a text for this book, nothing could be better:

It was a brave idea; it was the child of a most ingenious brain. It was well advertised, but it hardly needed it. The bold originality, the extraordinary character, the seductive nature, and the vastness of the enterprise stirred up comment everywhere and advertised it in every household in the land. Who could read the program of the excursion without longing to make one of the party? I will insert it here. It is almost as good as a map. As a text for this book, nothing could be better:

BROOKLYN, February 1st, 1867. The undersigned will make an excursion as above during the coming season, and begs to submit to you the following programme: A first-class steamer, to be under his own command, and capable of accommodating at least one hundred and fifty cabin passengers, will be selected, in which will be taken a select company, numbering not more than three-fourths of the ship's capacity. There is good reason to believe that this company can be easily made up in this immediate vicinity, of mutual friends and acquaintances. The steamer will be provided with every necessary comfort, including library and musical instruments. An experienced physician will be on board.

Brooklyn, February 1, 1867. The undersigned will make an excursion as above5 during the coming season, and begs to submit to you the following program: A first-class steamer, to be under his own command, and able to hold at least one hundred and fifty cabin passengers, will be selected. It will take a select company, numbering not more than three-fourths of the ship's capacity. There is good reason to believe that this company can easily be made up in this immediate neighborhood, of mutual friends and acquaintances. The steamer will be provided with every necessary comfort, including a library and musical instruments. An experienced physician will be on board.

5. The heading printed above the programme, which named the excursion.

The ship will at all times be a home, where the excursionists, if sick, will be surrounded by kind friends, and have all possible comfort and sympathy. Should contagious sickness exist in any of the ports named in the programme, such ports will be passed, and others of interest substituted. The price of passage is fixed at $1,250, currency, for each adult passenger. Choice of rooms and of seats at the tables apportioned in the order in which passages are engaged, and no passage considered engaged until ten per cent. of the passage money is deposited with the treasurer.

The ship will at all times be a home, where the excursionists, if sick, will be surrounded by kind friends, and have all possible comfort and sympathy. Should contagious sickness exist in any of the ports named in the program, those ports will be passed, and others of interest substituted. The price of passage is fixed at $1,250, currency,6 for each adult passenger. Choice of rooms and of seats at the tables will be given in the order in which passages are booked. No passage is considered booked until 10 percent of the passage money is deposited with the treasurer.

6. Paper money, which in 1867 was worth less than gold; the spending money below is reckoned in gold.

Passengers can remain on board of the steamer, at all ports, if they desire, without additional expense, and all boating at the expense of the ship. All passages must be paid for when taken, in order that the most perfect arrangements be made for starting at the appointed time. Applications for passage must be approved by the committee before tickets are issued, and can be made to the undersigned. Articles of interest or curiosity, procured by the passengers during the voyage, may be brought home in the steamer free of charge. Five dollars per day, in gold, it is believed, will be a fair calculation to make for all traveling expenses on shore, and at the various points where passengers may wish to leave the steamer for days at a time. The trip can be extended, and the route changed, by unanimous vote of the passengers.

Passengers can stay on board the steamer at all ports, if they wish, without extra cost, and all boating will be at the expense of the ship.7 All passages must be paid for when taken, so that the most perfect arrangements can be made for starting at the appointed time. Applications for passage must be approved by the committee before tickets are issued, and can be made to the undersigned. Articles of interest or curiosity bought by the passengers during the voyage may be brought home in the steamer free of charge. Five dollars a day, in gold, it is believed, will be a fair amount to plan on for all traveling expenses on shore, and at the various points where passengers may wish to leave the steamer for days at a time. The trip can be extended, and the route changed, by unanimous vote of the passengers.

7. Taking passengers between ship and shore in small boats, in ports where the ship anchored offshore.

CHAS. C. DUNCAN,
117 WALL STREET, NEW YORK.
R. R. G**** Treasurer.
COMMITTEE ON APPLICATIONS.
J. T. H, ESQ., R. R. G ESQ., C. C. DUNCAN.
COMMITTEE ON SELECTING STEAMER.
CAPT. W. W. S. Surveyor for Board of Underwriters.
C. W. C***, Consulting Engineer for U. S. and Canada.
J. T. H***, ESQ.
C. C. DUNCAN.

Chas. C. Duncan,8 117 Wall Street, New York. R. R. G****, Treasurer.9 Committee on Applications: J. T. H, Esq., R. R. G, Esq., C. C. Duncan. Committee on Selecting Steamer: Capt. W. W. S, Surveyor for Board of Underwriters. C. W. C***, Consulting Engineer for U.S. and Canada. J. T. H***, Esq. C. C. Duncan.

8. Charles C. Duncan chartered the ship and managed the excursion; he signed passage receipts as “Charterer and Manager.”
9. The book prints these names with stars, hiding who they were.

P. S. — The very beautiful and substantial side wheel steamship “Quaker City” has been chartered for the occasion, and will leave New York, June 8th. Letters have been issued by the government commending the party to courtesies abroad.

P.S. The very beautiful and solid side-wheel steamship Quaker City10 has been chartered for the occasion, and will leave New York on June 8. Letters have been issued by the government asking that the party be shown courtesies abroad.

10. The ship left its pier on June 8, 1867, waited out rough seas for two days off Brooklyn, and put to sea on June 10.

What was there lacking about that programme, to make it perfectly irresistible? Nothing, that any finite mind could discover. Paris, England, Scotland, Switzerland, Italy — Garibaldi! The Grecian archipelago! Vesuvius! Constantinople! Smyrna! The Holy Land! Egypt and “our friends the Bermudians!” People in Europe desiring to join the Excursion — contagious sickness to be avoided — boating at the expense of the ship — physician on board — the circuit of the globe to be made if the passengers unanimously desired it — the company to be rigidly selected by a pitiless “Committee on Applications” — the vessel to be as rigidly selected by as pitiless a “Committee on Selecting Steamer.” Human nature could not withstand these bewildering temptations. I hurried to the Treasurer's office and deposited my ten per cent. I rejoiced to know that a few vacant state-rooms were still left. I did avoid a critical personal examination into my character, by that bowelless committee, but I referred to all the people of high standing I could think of in the community who would be least likely to know any thing about me.

What was there lacking about that program, to make it perfectly irresistible? Nothing that any finite mind could discover. Paris, England, Scotland, Switzerland, Italy—Garibaldi!11 The Grecian archipelago! Vesuvius! Constantinople! Smyrna!12 The Holy Land! Egypt and “our friends the Bermudians!” People in Europe wanting to join the excursion. Contagious sickness to be avoided. Boating at the expense of the ship. Physician on board. The circuit of the globe to be made if the passengers unanimously desired it. The company to be rigidly selected by a pitiless “Committee on Applications.” The vessel to be as rigidly selected by as pitiless a “Committee on Selecting Steamer.” Human nature could not withstand these bewildering temptations. I hurried to the treasurer's office and deposited my 10 percent. I rejoiced to know that a few vacant staterooms were still left. I did avoid a critical personal examination into my character by that heartless13 committee. But I named as references all the people of high standing I could think of in the community who would be least likely to know anything about me.

11. Giuseppe Garibaldi, the Italian general and hero of the unification of Italy.
12. Constantinople (modern Istanbul) and Smyrna (modern İzmir), cities of the Ottoman Empire, now in Turkey.
13. Twain’s word is “bowelless.” The bowels were once thought the seat of pity, so a bowelless committee had none.